today is not only the last day of may and the day before my folks' 33rd wedding anniversary, it's also the last day of my contract with up. i figure, if there is any celebrating to be done, it should always be done alone, in a place you have yet to maneuver the alleys and the potholes of. sure, birthdays and major holidays are conducted with family and/or friends, but when it comes to the really significant dates, a few hours with your sweet self would be more poignant, methinks.

as i am in lb (as opposed to, say, watching the repeat of the borges project in ccp or being at the last night of 90 proof in emerald avenue, rumoredly because of a 100% increase in rent, which will really just kill any business), i could only project a counterpoint to this day, which would involve me being in a far more exhilirating city (say, new york) or just a more-than-usual place (say the top of a tree - think sabrina when she was still dowdy).

i really have nothing much to say about contracts, cubicles (d. succeeded in his evil plan concerning a hotly-contested cubicle, amen to you!), less-than-desirable toilets, misguided priorities, and colleagues who are - alright, let's just say there is a big reason why i prefer conversing with students more.

three years? thank goodness i spent it in up, an institution that provided much leeway (leeway is an understatement) for people who need to spend a week in the city lest the students take the brunt of unpleasant mood swings. thank goodness i spent in up, an institution which defines faculty development as 'sink or swim' and i don't mean it in a disparaging manner, truth be told. up should be credited for producing students who then apply as teachers with the same work ethic: dump us the workload, we'll find a way around this fine mess. think it in the way people comment on driving in metro manila: if you can drive in metro manila, you can drive anywhere. (then again, there are the streets in any given country in africa, say your prayers, bring your rosary, assume meditation position.)

and i type all these with a sheepish smile on my face, as i know why i'm saying all these. whatever is there to say about the last three years, i was still fortunate to have had the company of students, some of whom are wiser than i was when i was a college student. i was fortunate to have had the opportunity to work with quite a number of them in activities i thoroughly enjoyed and am passionate about. i will always heave a sigh of relief, knowing that i was in the midst of a number of colleagues who became my friends, a source of both consternation and inspiration. most importantly, i am grateful for these three years, if only because it forced me, stubborn me, to realize that, hell, i do have the chops for teaching after all.