wishlist

it lies in the utterance and yet words are not enough. they have to be apprehended, grasped, stringed into meaningful threads. then they have to see the light, undergo the cliche of ink on paper.

this is the prescribed route. but i ask, doesn't paper turn to yellow? imagine the university library up in flames. then in a beautiful symphony, all presses, great and small, are unwitting participants in a fireworks display.

(i forgot. there's the digital superhighway. that's another story altogether.)

after i finally gave a shape and weight (but with just enough lightness to make it soar), i thought that's it. that's immediately fifteen to twenty years' worth of work ahead. did walter benjamin feel the same when he first thought of the arcades project?

i wish i had a tape recorder.
i wish i have php 150,000 next year (and more).
i wish my dandruff would just quit it.
i wish i could just get through the next month of papers without socking someone.

wishes granted, prayers answered.
repetition of unwanted images no longer grate, they just tiptoe in front of me and i give them my blessing.
i am practicing (and soon perfecting) the art of mental astral projection when emotions act like geysers.
basically, i'm just giving everything and everybody my blessing (just because i want to), for as long as it is all done in good faith and with love.

in other news: i got my gre scores. the quantitative and verbal scores, i already know, but the analytical part was the surprise. 5 out of 6. coolness.

since i only had four hours of sleep last night, i will have an early sign-off.

good night.