p.'s career survival will be gauged in the next few weeks and it didn't help that a problem has bubbled into the surface. for the first time, she is angry. in my head, i wanted to hug her for finally mustering enough frailty to get angry, be mad. i thought she will never be. i thought then, maybe she's not real, maybe she's in denial. that disaffected? nobody can be that steely.

i could only offer the proverbial silver lining - be thankful this happened now and not at the end of this critical period. i don't want to imagine the greater tragedy that will happen (i am certain of that) had things proceeded as desired. what happened was committed with the blind emotional quotient of a nine-year-old.

normally, i would take on the position of the adversary - understand where she's coming from, you know the tough times she's been facing, you know how her brain works.

maybe it's her period.

even if i churn out a reason as silly as that one, anything to humanize the adversary.

maybe not this instance.

even if i rack up all the possible reasons, they collectively fall short of the fact that poor judgment was involved, not to mention lack of respect.

p. was seething and only the telephone could convey the frustration.

all i could do was listen to her.

i suppose that would have to do for now.