nasilip ko ang blag ni pink purgatory tungkol sa pagkakahirang sa kanya bilang bagong presidente ng pantas. congrats, hija. alam mo namang nangyari ang mga bagay na nabanggit mo para sa ikabubuti mo at ng org. 'di lang ito para sa iyo kundi para sa lahat.

her '04 comm arts batch is turning senior by june, which means that the '03 batch is finally graduating (at least many of them). of the batches i've handled in my three years of teaching in los baños, i've felt the most affinity with this batch, if only because i taught almost all of them in my first semester as eng 4 teacher. some of them were also students in two majors classes i also taught. subsequently, i've come to be in close interaction with a number of them in my involvement with the orgs layb and pantas.

still others have, for some inexplicable reason, became 'regulars' at my two cubicles. i remember joanne who used to frequent the first cubicle and complain about her then-non-existent lovelife. i can't remember the last time she dropped by, which tells us a thing or two about what happened with the status of her lovelife since then. there is also paul (who, technically, is not yet graduating, but is part of the batch, nevertheless) who i am grateful for rekindling my love for filipino indie (and not-so-indie) bands and generously lent the latest cd he bought the recent weekend. if there's paul, jek, red and chris would not be far behind. impromptu jams of dashboard confessional and sandwich songs have always scratched at my rock soul.

but the relationships i treasure most are with my now-former advisees. in particular, i have to mention three of them - ilia, anna and jas.

owing to my famous short-attention span, i will devote this and the next two blog entries for each of these three girls.

ilia

ilia became my student in eng 4 in her second year and, if i remember it right, she was in my tth 4-5:30 pm class. she really stuck out in the class for being, well, overly participative. at times, i would daydream and wonder if she'll ever run out of words to say. that sem, she didn't.

she was also kidded for seeing something redeemable in all of her teachers and she didn't mind being teased about it. i myself teased her about her inexplicable 'fondness' for teachers who i didn't exactly relish considering as 'my colleagues.'

in the three years that i've known her, i could probably dish out many anecdotes if only to demonstrate her wonderful spirit, her idiosyncracies and her humanity but it wasn't until recently that i've begun to sum up the ilia i first knew and the ilia i'm seeing now.

the biggest change i've seen is the greater calm and acceptance she has cultivated, and i supposed this was honed from both the theatre productions and group projects she has been, but moreso as president of pantas. i have witnessed her panic attacks and sometimes they annoyed the hell out of me (if only because i knew she could handle the situation if she only calmed down) but after each bout of 'temporary insanity' she'd bounce back and laugh about the whole thing. a surprising thing that was added to this change is her as a fighter. i suppose this comes from the realization of the things that are important for her and things which should not be compromised at all costs. she lets momentary weaknesses run their course but when push comes to shove, she delivers as best she can.

i have been privileged to have been a part of her great moments and the one that comes to mind is her acceptance as a fellow at the ateneo writers' workshop. i remember getting the call one saturday in september at my place in xavierville (i was already teaching in ateneo by this time) and could vividly recall the excitement on her voice when she related to me the good news. then on the last day of her workshop (which was also the day that i just finished computing my students' grades and ready to be submitted in time for the deadline the following day), she invited me to come over their little get-together at a restaurant near xavierville. i just let her gush and be excited and be scared and be, well, everything while i sat there and listened to her account of what happened to her in the last five days. it was her shining moment. i couldn't have been more proud.

but the most important point i want to make about ilia was the fact that she didn't truly succumb to that thing they call 'senioritis,' as evidenced by her unflagging enthusiasm for a final paper for her majors class, so much so that she borrowed a number of materials from me, working with the two weeks left for her to digest concepts and definitions. i pointed this enthusiasm out (and genuine, student enthusiasm, so reassuring in a sea of students who consider reading as a punishment and requirements as chores to get over with). she replied that maybe she didn't contract senioritis. in my head, i thought, well, there's always a pill for everything if you knew you had a problem to deal with in the first place.

so there. i don't want to turn this into a gush fest, if only because gushing and saying all the good things about a person shouldn't be reserved for eulogies and bedside whispers when he or she is in a coma. but really, it is repeated over and over again - it is an honor to be amongst students because, however cliche this is, you do learn something from them. this is a privilege that i've come to honor and respect. more crucially, they are a reminder of who you were (craziness, immaturity, earnestness, aspirations) and the sameness i find in myself and in each and every student i come across.

last thing: i was once interviewed by a student for a class project and the subject was on uplb teachers who were also uplb students. sort of like a compare-and-contrast thing. the last question went like 'if you could give any advice to students, what would it be?' (miss universe, it is) i replied 'i would like for students to not be afraid of finding their own voice, nourish that voice and sticking their guns to it.'

in ilia's case, the voice has become one of buoyancy, gentleness and integrity. while it may flag at times it nevertheless strives to be unwavering.