happy new year.

thirty minutes before the start of the new year, i decided to let the dogs, china and kaya, in the house. china is a thin dog who shivers at the slightest rumbling of sound and kaya is as big as a ship, what with her impending delivery of her first litter. i secretly nurtured the idea that kaya might have a miscarriage with the escalating sounds of fireworks and all sorts of explosives and china may as well die of too much fright.

both dogs are now sleeping peacefully in the living room though i think i can hear china's feet pattering throughout the living room and, as i now discover, is struggling to sniff out the rat that's been feeding off our bananas and sweet potatoes. as i type, china is back at the dining area, scratching her left paw at the floor which, tatay tells me, is her way of establishing territoriality. i wonder how territoriality is even plausible for an act that doesn't result in a burrowing, a sniffing out - you get the picture.

*

after a second try at it, i finally finished hermann hesse's siddharta. i started reading it late last week, after eyeing it along with the other books (mostly mine and the ones of most importance to me) filling the antique bookshelf now resting in the living room. it had to be moved there from my bedroom, no thanks to a leaky roof that threatened to ruin my books.

i somewhat remember my first attempt at reading siddharta as a hooey attempt to finish a thin book that is apparently standard reading for pisay students. (i remember tita daisy borrowing a copy from emman for her daughter who's attending that school. meanwhile our standard reading in high school was the little prince. our school's idea of prepping us up forcollege.) unfortunately, as with all hooey reading attempts of mine, it was promptly discontinued.

this time around, i found siddharta underneath a pocket penguin book of some essays by george orwell. frankly, i don't remember much of 1984 and i equally don't remember if i finished it at all. but that's not the point of this narrative.

i heaved a sigh, oh well, i may as well give siddharta a second try. after having gone through several books the past few days to earn the title of 'reading accomplishment for xmas break 2006,' siddharta was the most promising. consider the other candidates: postmodern fables by jean-francois lyotard (and for a day or two, i thought it was frederic jameson), approaches to visual culture by what's-his-face (and the only reason i picked it up was because it was stacked in the last room gathering dust), child of all nations by pramoedya ananta toer, or the 2nd in the buru quartet (i did get to read this earth of mankind, aka part 1 - but way back in hum 1. college. in 1994). black skin, white mask by frantz fanon wasn't also my idea of capping the year off.

which led me to siddharta. and, well, it was wonderful. (wonderful, of course, being an understatement.) it was a familiar story (again, of course) but it didn't feel forced, it didn't carry the weight of buddhism the religion with a capital r. it was something i encountered for the first time and yet it was comfortingly familiar. it held many things that i already know (and i say that with no ounce of intention to be arrogant) and yet i find myself admitting that i, after all, don't know much about it.

it mentioned things about teachers (am not sold on them, i go for peers), contradictions (i strangely embrace them but is something bothersome when it hits close to home), words (words are not everything), love (unconditional, for everything and everyone crossing my path), and actions (and not merely teachings, which leads us back to the words).

the concept of everything gives me shivers here and yet, at the same time, i know i shouldn't be intimidated because it has, is and will be always about everything. most people equate everything with infinity and boundless abstractions but, really, everything is tangible. everything is the everyday we encounter. everything need not be something to touch all at one time and yet there is really no need to do so because that has already been covered.

everything is quite humbling. everything is a good start to anything.

indeed, everything old is new again.

happy new year.