as usual, the house is quiet, save for this momentary clicking and the rat reeling from the poison waiting for him. or her.

i am taking a break from calming myself down with yet more things to remember about how not to misread math problems.

but that is not what's making me stop and pause.

i think of the eventuality (and not merely the possibility) that a year from now, the creature comforts that are collectively called home would have to be tucked in my memory and my writings for a long while.

when i know i am about to succumb to another crisis of confidence, i would only have to think of all of those friends who share in my joys and woes, those dears who devote a good chunk of themselves to make me richer in so many ways. god knows that in the event that it is their turn to have a crisis of confidence, i won't be far away to return the gesture and so much more.

(certainty: nothing was gained, nothing was lost.)