1. The hardest thing to accomplish is _______________. At least that’s what Richard once said. Richard, so profuse with compliments, yet so lacking in faith.

2. It never occurred to me to double-check the tires before I set off for the weekend in Batangas.

3. Itchy and Scratchy take a crap. Itchy and Scratchy piss a lake.

4. I follow rhythms like a dog blindly running after its master’s car speeding away.

5. She was flailing her body like it was her last night on Earth. Or probably her last night as a single woman. She whispers to herself, “Be free, be yourself, embrace life, be spontaneous.”

6. I need to feel your love before the sun heads for the hills.

7. It soars, it does somersaults and air-kisses everyone around it.

8. I will name my daughter Lilian because god knows how much a name can vilify you.

9. On the ninth day, Erica decided that it was just as well providential that he never came at all.