1. i saw h. at palma hall today. this girl fascinates and scares me a bit. she tells me she was just thinking about texting me (with my old number, unfortunately) to ask what literature elective to take when she peered through the door and found me. before her, a girl i don't know asked me about the cl elective she was advised to take by my friend p. who was the morning's enlistor. after h., there was t., asking me about cl subjects as well.

h. is her same old self, something that i told her and something that brought a smile to her face. at first, i thought it was an insult or something, but i was surprised when she told me that after a semester that was less than encouraging, she's been waiting for that remark from someone who knows her well.

i whispered to her, stick to your guns.

2. lunches with p. are always a scary prospect. if i have a schedule for that day and it involved a midday meeting with her, forget the rest of the day.

no, she doesn't saddle with problems about her career or her domestic life. well, most of what we talked about were about those but she has this way of relating these to me without making me feel tired and drained after listening. or maybe it's the matter-of-fact manner she does it, that yes, there are annoyances but such is the deal with the everyday. these shouldn't prevent you from locking yourself inside your house.

the extent of our confessionals today were very much reflected in our meal orders: the usuals for us - ribs for me, chicken kebab for her, bottomless iced tea, coffee and cheesecake to follow. separate slices this time.

there were the staples - i don't want to check students' essays, i am being hounded with my thesis, i have to complete my paper, etc. etc. i know the sequence by heart and yes, we should be tired of talking about it, but somehow, it doesn't get old. (should we be worried? probably.)

the staples are always added with the concerns of the day - me, running through her the paper i'm working on and she, her beef with a common friend.

long after the bill was settled, we ourselves settled on the one thing we care about deeply - what is it that we want to say, minus our beloved (and mostly dead) western gods as our dependable crutches? when will we stop going about the business of parroting?

3. during the afternoon, i receive an inquiry about housing back in lb and the very sad news about the unexpected death of an dorm mate's young son.

4. now i get a message from the common friend in question from anecdote number two complaining about p. they sure look like kids back at the playground exacting their politics.

5. h. still hounds me. she seems to see through me and her powers of perception are unnerving. i am comforted by this somehow. it feels like i'm not talking to someone her age. thank god you're still sticking to your guns.