HAPPY NEW YEAR (in seven hours and 4 minutes)

I was about to do the perfunctory 'Happy New Year, blessings to all. etc, etc' bit. Then I realized that a lot (and I do mean a LOT) has happened to me in 2003.

Number one on my list would be the completion of my thesis and my getting an M.A. degree. At last. Much to the relief of my parents, my sister, and all those who constantly bug me about me, my life and my thesis. Having been on it for four years, it's a relief not having to entertain those questions any more.

Number two would be the immediate change of status from unemployed to gainfully employed. With a Prof. at the beginning of my name. That took some getting used to, like I am still detached from the whole idea. Then I remember the years spent in grad school. Then I embrace it like my hypothetical gigantic teddy bear.

Number three would be my extended PMS state of mind. Translation: I cannot distinguish anymore between pre-, post-, and during period phases. My mood swings have never been as mucked-up as this year. During the recently remembered periods of genuine happiness and contentment (late November and early December), they seemed to be so unfamiliar that I had to sit up and check if I was dreaming. Which made me appreciate even more those fleeting moments of bliss.

Bananaducky's present state of mind? Entering the new year with trepidation but really, really, truly excited

Number four are my new-found friends at work. Made me realize: a) that I am indeed old (a fact not lost to them); b) that I am rather amused by some of my younger co-teachers' early-20s 'blues'; c) the passion injected in their work by people around me, which inspires me daily; d) the treasure of having true male friends at last - they can be a revelation.

Number five - and this was rather hard to swallow: change, especially with the people around you - family, long-time friends. As I am a creature of habit, the gradual defamiliarization of some people close to my heart has been a bitter pill to swallow. Through the years, one's knowledge of people becomes his or her security blanket, a patched-up comfort zone. The liberating flipside to this are the unexpected surprises of acknowledgment, love and generosity I received from other people I, admittedly, neglected or taken for granted.

Round midnight, I would probably be having the cliche baked macaroni, fruit salad, with the addition of some chilled bubbly. But cliche-ness be damned! Bananaducky had a crazy/beautiful 2003 and am relishing that idea till 12 midnight! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!