tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55106402011-09-13T04:10:21.920+08:00bananaduckyor how i have sunken to nihonggo-speak. think "it is sunny day. hope we be together."bananaduckynoreply@blogger.comBlogger5121100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-1247148417853830692009-12-23T21:20:00.003+08:002009-12-24T11:02:10.514+08:00swan songi started bananaducky on the month i changed my mind and accepted the then-department chair's offer to teach at uplb. only the previous month, i was running on adrenaline and rushing blind to finish my master's thesis. i don't remember the impetus towards starting this blog, how i decided to go with blogger, or even the blogs i read which may have inspired me to start my own. now as i bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com48tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-25504019841522263112009-11-29T00:51:00.001+08:002009-11-29T00:54:35.759+08:00nothing like keeping friends you've had back when there were still rotary dial telephones and our house number was 3372.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-47575597326743893612009-11-17T21:14:00.000+08:002009-11-17T21:16:27.589+08:00countdownsarah, just let me know when you're free. we are burying this blog for good.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-86111693947889701162009-10-14T19:28:00.002+08:002009-10-14T20:12:41.556+08:001. I want to be friends with writing againWriting is supposed to be cathartic, even a joy. But for me, it is utter pain. I circle around a phrase like a commercial airplane forced to circle around the city, waiting for the air controller's permission to land.Why wait for the air controller? Why even bother flying a plane when you can ride on an air balloon. It seems cumbersome, not to mention bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-50052669618719833932009-10-13T19:09:00.002+08:002009-10-13T19:38:59.447+08:00ConfessionsSo I decided that bananaducky at blogspot was something that should be left alone, like that TOEFL reviewer my former student Jas lent me two years ago - it was one of the casualties my Xavierville II room incurred from the flood during typhoon Ondoy. I was too anxious to get back to Los Banos the following day (and spent very few days in QC afterwards) that did not have the time (or bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-55597054990371841382009-08-30T14:38:00.002+08:002009-08-30T14:47:27.601+08:00DO NOT RETURN TO SENDER July 11, 1948Dear Allen,Exorcise Neal. Louis(Excerpt from "Family Business: Selected Letters Between a Father and a Son - Allen and Louis Ginsberg." Michael Schumacher, editor)bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-55405064739209779552009-06-17T20:47:00.003+08:002009-06-17T21:14:42.929+08:00I'm microblogging on Blogger using the format of a Facebook status but with choices? Eh...Amy Colanta is:a) not panicking, which is unusual.b) in the middle of the slow descent of a sugar rush.c) missing/not missing that bloke.d) strategizing the semester after belatedly learning that one of her classes was dissolved.e) not feeling that her seemingly-perfect plans are ruined.f) thinking that bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-11537350408228457362009-06-12T19:45:00.001+08:002009-06-12T19:46:28.126+08:00Amy Colanta says bye-bye to you. (Should've not undone this six months ago.)bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-12217360809857945042009-06-06T15:00:00.001+08:002009-06-06T21:22:31.066+08:00The Story of Us(Photo: Mike Mergen for The New York Times)bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-57193406422603801322009-05-30T00:14:00.002+08:002009-05-30T00:25:09.965+08:00Top Five Hits1. A shirtless Pharell Williams performing "Everybody Nose."2. A chat with B. about our secret desires and longings.3. Everybody in their own syncs and rhythms proceeding in harmony.4. The pain/pleasure of being adored from a distance.5. The quiet security of drama-free, defiant, old-soul love.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-53806701252391618102009-05-26T21:30:00.003+08:002009-05-29T02:00:10.997+08:00Wow, nasisilaw ako (sa kawalan ng blog posts)As usual, bullet points:1. This is my most hang-up free semester/summer in a very long time. (Read: INC class completed, enrolled class not INC'd.)2. Janey is engaged, yahoo!!!3. Two friends are marching down the aisle this June. (Thankfully their weddings don't fall on the same Saturday, gahds.)4. Nakakatawa man ang sinulat ko sa # 4, dinelete ko na bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-21590663689415754882009-04-17T21:35:00.001+08:002009-04-17T21:37:34.233+08:00This reminded me of Dr Seuss, for some reasonbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-84024719169202572082009-03-15T20:38:00.002+08:002009-03-15T21:22:09.159+08:00stressed and happybananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-82844905847503272572009-03-01T20:44:00.003+08:002009-03-01T20:59:40.492+08:00My days on speed dial1. We high school ladies are having a long-overdue reunion with Lubs, wow. It occured to me that I haven't had the opportunity to see her in the two times I was in the US. Lots of catching up to do.2. Jane expressed her concerns over an important person in her life. Was reminded of an (old?) wisdom (??) that we tend to attract the same kinds of people in our lives. I dare notbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-59426357716797749672009-02-17T23:14:00.003+08:002009-02-17T23:28:38.643+08:00I drained myself too much the past few days. It is a very horrible feeling. Your brain is telling you to do this, do that, but the will is rebelling. (I am leaving the body out of this discussion for now.)I am not sad, just bewildered, even aimless.Time to close shop for the day and thank goodness there is the imperative to close shop to mark the end of the day, as if the day depended more on bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-67978009361365354162009-01-26T00:00:00.002+08:002009-01-26T00:10:22.513+08:00Shorthand (It's been quite a while)1. Managed to clock in nearly five hours of watching Lav Diaz's Melancholia. Tried to patch up the unknown ending by reading a summary online. I have to recuperate the last three hours. (P.S. No bathroom breaks there, not even stretchings inside the moviehouse. Yes, it can be done.)2. Am on page 50 of The Old Gringo by Carlos Fuentes. A sorry-ass rate of readingbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-86810526698005933642009-01-19T23:58:00.002+08:002009-01-20T00:07:16.831+08:00So I guess this is Day Three of That Infinite Sinking FeelingVery, very paranoid about people. Ayoko na lang patulan.While there is this part of my head that wants to snicker, the only thing I am sure of is that I am sincerely happy about the things that make my friends happy. I am also happy my friends do not fall under the same batch of cookie cutters.Such defiance for me to express happiness bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-46279619522387028622009-01-19T22:10:00.003+08:002009-01-19T22:18:16.893+08:00Today was brought to you by GarfieldNow I know why I had to take a personal leave from everything (well maybe not everything).bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-83404080509068811062009-01-11T17:22:00.002+08:002009-01-11T17:32:03.911+08:00You know how you think you've invented a name (not necessarily for your impending name-change and not necessarily for your would-be child) that sounds equal parts exotic and dumb. You nurture that strange creature in your head, only to be relegated to the dark folds of your memory as you plod through the days dreaming and despairing.Then one day you see the name attached to a surname. There is a bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-80045234672861253582008-12-30T22:03:00.002+08:002008-12-30T22:21:37.134+08:00People pay too much attention to 'the calm before the storm,' as if one has to savor what is there of the much-accustomed present before it falls into disarray. Or, preparations have to be made (the furniture to be moved to the highest place in the house, doors and windows that needed to be boarded up) before the catastrophe. Or, simply, to hold one's breath to withstand maximum impact and bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-32806628132014961942008-12-25T17:47:00.009+08:002008-12-25T18:05:49.395+08:00I am looking forward to seeing Revolutionary Road, not just because of its 50s suburbian ennui that I am drawn too (see Far From Heaven) and not just because of Kate Winslet's predilection as a hubadera (no wait, that's The Reader).It's because Nina Simone's Wild is the Wind is used heavily in the trailer (and I suppose in the movie as well, I hope). It's been a long time since I listened to anybananaduckynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-62204619770583823122008-12-25T09:10:00.001+08:002008-12-25T09:12:58.094+08:00Merry Christmas to everyone!bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-81034981437716571982008-12-21T15:09:00.002+08:002008-12-21T15:20:42.202+08:00Because being a friend is more important than self-preservation, I could say I'm a world-class idiot.Which is why now, more than ever, I do believe in angels. And the Great Parent God (that does not need to distinguish between He and She).Which is why when I'm busy being a world-class idiot, I am given corporeal angels to keep me from harm's way of being a friend.Because I'd rather that two bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-25288101279963895462008-12-19T21:13:00.001+08:002008-12-19T21:15:50.818+08:00Curiouser and curiouserbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-2745806673684337482008-12-12T21:01:00.002+08:002008-12-12T21:07:34.291+08:00Thank you, P. You helped me draw up a sound plan.Thank you, C. You are a good friend to us.And thank you, Jane. It is, indeed, the gift that keeps on giving.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-77388155395136907872008-12-08T19:55:00.003+08:002008-12-08T20:09:05.422+08:00Fota, what was I thinking?Oo, fota. Ano bang naisip ko at yun ang naiorder-order ko for what should be my birthday dinner?The setting: Pancake House, dahil I suddenly felt like eating homey food, ika nga nila sa mga billboards nila. At parang kahit na kaya ng wardrobe ko ang mag fine dining, di kaya ng manners ko tonight ang magpakademure.Seriously, I was opting between a juicy hamburger and the bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-25881977337611131852008-12-02T21:14:00.002+08:002008-12-02T21:20:02.875+08:00I'm plain pooped and ready to call it a day, but there's work to do and the best time to do work is now, not the pretend I-will-wake-up-na-lang-at-4-am baloney I fool myself with.Has anyone tried to wake up even at 6 am and bravely resisted the dipping temperature of late? (Okay, that would be the multitudes who answer to an 8 am office schedule.)Sleepy. Already. Must. Resist. The. Yawns.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-12646163993049209652008-11-30T22:11:00.002+08:002008-11-30T22:15:44.043+08:00Supernerd1. Tanong ni ser nung Biyernes: What's your Enlightenment project? My quiet mental answer: To not suck at being a nerd.2. Pilar: Grabe, supernerd na ako lately. I do nothing but read. Jane: Kindergarten pa lang tayo, alam ko nang nerd ka.Kweng kweng kweng kwengggggg.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-8800114779445257532008-11-02T15:33:00.004+08:002008-11-02T16:02:05.299+08:00When flour prices increased several years ago, the size of pan de sal underwent a dramatic decrease. Since bakeries couldn't afford to increase its price from the standard Php 1 (as it would be commercial suicide), the poor pan de sal was reduced to a blip. And because the sight of it made me lose my appetite for merienda, I stopped having them altogether. One can imagine the laborious process bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-67785832284422500022008-10-25T21:30:00.003+08:002008-10-26T16:41:57.952+08:00Hindi lang pala mga hayop ang nagiging endangeredFrom the latest issue of Time Magazine: Collins English Dictionary is contemplating on striking off words from their next edition which are either rarely used or archaic. In other words (pun very much intended), there will be some dictionary terms on the chopping block. Will be put down. Will be sent to grandma's farm. (This would be the time to bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-13629326782502804032008-10-19T19:42:00.002+08:002008-10-19T20:05:33.947+08:00Durga (aka Joffin) adapted the name 'Jane' while on the throes of the crap of 2008. Now that that episode is long put behind her, the name Jane, methinks, has become some sort of battle cry. That she has emerged not entirely unscathed but whole and, sometimes, unrecognizable. Unrecognizable in a good way.When I spent some time with her back in June, she drove me to the nearest White Castle to bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-63146710423386444302008-10-13T20:23:00.002+08:002008-10-13T20:33:24.159+08:00Definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Underwent temporary insanity for a while, then told meself to quit it.It was a good thing my panel schedule with some of Caloy's students was set this afternoon; otherwise, I would've just returned to QC as the most solitary traveler. And so, with the pit in my chest that is still there (but valiantly ignoring), I was a teacher once bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-15432244671191170962008-10-12T10:42:00.003+08:002008-10-12T10:46:32.667+08:00It's Mercury Retrograde until Wednesday. What's your excuse?Kung ako'y buntis, pinaglilihian ko siyaat siya.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-22362103499420836552008-10-05T21:40:00.003+08:002008-10-05T21:57:14.089+08:00Dye you, dress, dye youI've been itching to dye this long white dress that's been hibernating in the closet to yellow. At first, it was a toss-up between yellow and green. Nanay suggested to go with yellow, and just as well. There was one box of yellow dye from that batch of dyes Ate Agnes sent a while back.Dyeing the dress was no problem; I already tried to dye my faded low-rise jeans before.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-20589813105909025842008-09-20T14:24:00.005+08:002008-09-20T14:42:23.341+08:00While I was having lunch with Eva at the Faculty Lounge yesterday, I sensed a quiet whirl of attention around the guy at the next table. He looked athletic, tall enough, no question good-looking. And he looked very familiar.Two to three people (who were clearly smitten by him) kept calling him Aki. I was too preoccupied with the ensuing discussion that the minimum information I absorbed about himbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-53062112138632054892008-09-16T22:14:00.003+08:002008-09-16T22:28:05.846+08:00This is Damien Hirst's "The Golden Calf."It's a 600-kg bull suspended in formaldehyde, its hooves and horns cast in gold. "The Golden Calf" is supposed to be a commentary on the rich people who gobble up everything he puts out there as art. Mockery at its best. Its pre-auction value was estimated between $ 14.6 to $ 22 M.Formaldehyde figures in most of his more notorious works, which can bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-78546737555165192422008-09-14T11:55:00.002+08:002008-09-14T11:58:06.782+08:00Tactile agents - the hairdresser - the masseuse - the prostitute - the physical therapist - the grandchild (to the dying grandparent)bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-24225850257495508132008-09-08T00:14:00.011+08:002008-09-08T01:00:44.215+08:00Pam and JoshLast Saturday, Nanay and I attended the wedding of Pam, a former student of hers who fondly calls her "Nanay," and Josh, her boyfriend of five years (or so, I think). The wedding ceremony was at the Manila Cathedral where, as Jane reminded me, was where Sharon Cuneta and Gabby Concepcion got married. Another factoid about the church - it rents for Php 60,000 per hour. I guess you're bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-7630267313912845522008-09-07T01:59:00.003+08:002008-09-07T02:06:47.113+08:00Shoot from the hipFoot in mouth diseaseThe lot of menstruating sniffling phlegmatic fire Dragon Sagittarians Look before you leapStop look and listenShake your head and walk away(After five minutes)Return to pick up the bag you left on the dinner chairbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-45676300293235503032008-08-20T21:04:00.002+08:002008-08-20T21:24:34.723+08:00I can see clearly* now the rain is gone*** As it turns out, reading for long periods of time, reading while on a moving vehicle, reading while lying down, reading with a poor light source CAN contribute to a 20/20 vision. After a first look-see by the optometrist, my opthalmologist Doc Orville confirmed it - I no longer need the horn-rimmed glasses I inherited from Ate Agnes. I couldn't say "bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-52571313254387778122008-08-18T09:37:00.002+08:002008-08-18T10:04:32.312+08:00Tagged: NicknamesFound out Jane tagged me.Sure, why not?List ALL the names you were called by and the people/person who called you that. Tag at least 5 members of your contacts and give a comment on their site for them to know they've been tagged.(Here we go)Amy Concepcion - my christened name. Amy means "beloved" and was picked up by my parents at the back of the old Webster's Dictionary we had bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-76398185831844582372008-08-17T21:44:00.003+08:002008-08-17T21:48:52.382+08:00Saturday night was the party for Teny's fiancee, Abet at IC's Cafe, also known as Wherelse?We were a small group; still the drinks flowed, the laughs came hard and conversations were easy.(photo courtesy of Teny from her Webshots album)bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-48475173292150455782008-08-15T19:44:00.003+08:002008-08-15T19:59:23.559+08:00Friday top five hits1. Dave Coulier is revealed to be the subject of Alanis Morissette's breakthrough hit "You Oughtta Know." Of course, in the landscape that is 90's music, this falls somewhere between early 90's grunge and late 90's pop backlash led by Ms Britney Spears. As for Dave Coulier, my reaction to that is somewhere between "Ho-hum" and "Meow." At least it completes the "Guess who?" bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-2683422868840222422008-08-11T20:39:00.002+08:002008-08-11T21:02:34.410+08:00Ang sarap sigurong maging book cover artist para sa Vintage. They've got some of the most intruiging, disturbing and, yes, cerebral* covers I've seen of late. Again, kung mas savvy lang ako maglagay ng images, nilagay ko na dito ang ilan sa mga paborito kong covers.Isa sa mga paborito ko si Quentin Fiore, na mas kilala na cover designer ng mga libro ni Marshall McLuhan. Well, at least the firstbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-48680052625993641032008-08-10T18:00:00.002+08:002008-08-10T18:28:29.867+08:00Soundtrack in my head: any appropriate droning Radiohead song, preferably from the OK Computer albumRadiohead has been sweetly providing the soundtrack in my head the entire weekend. After the exhiliration of partaking of the buy-1-vintage-twin-take-1-vintage-twin promo at Fully Booked Promenade (for Php 502), to add to the earlier purchase at the book stalls at UP AS 101 - that would be bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-70495738093569614732008-08-02T23:28:00.003+08:002008-08-03T00:03:21.052+08:00Paunang sagot sa bitin na tanong sa huling post: hindi.Saka na ulit ang mahabang sagot.Now to what I wanted to say:I guess it will never go away - the most tender, quiet and loudest spot (and I must be resigned to this) that will remain tucked away (and I must be resigned to this).Lives distant; still, in the rarest of glances, I am reminded of that delicate thread made of the years. Oh, the bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-89399649978815969652008-07-28T08:16:00.002+08:002008-07-28T08:44:38.842+08:00Sabi ni durga/jane (para palang Puff Daddy ang frequency of name change nito) mag-blag na daw ako. Sabi ko naman, natatamad ako.It's not because of a lack of subjects to talk about. Alam naman ng mga blogger na unless you've made it your credo to blog everyday (even if it's about the death of your toe nail), the frequency of blog posts could be proportional to the eventfulness of your life.In bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-62725435658619915702008-06-22T22:27:00.013+08:002008-06-22T23:11:49.961+08:00While I'm waiting for the zip file of the contest poster to get sent to Vic (because zip files are such a drag), I decided to continue with showing some of my photos from the trip.This impulse is tempered by the news I received from my sister this afternoon. Let's just say another door is closed for me.Then again, with all the walking I did in New York City (three weeks' worth of walking), my bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-76672216995334422732008-06-15T17:27:00.002+08:002008-06-15T17:29:14.115+08:00Haay, Jane. Ang masasabi ko lang ay ang haba na ng hurr ni Pilar. Mula LB hanggang NYC.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-92051393059955901612008-06-14T16:00:00.002+08:002008-06-14T16:05:31.859+08:00More NYC pictures, in no particular orderAmy suffering from eye strain after viewing art at the Guggenheim and MoMAbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-20849133217452776252008-06-07T14:25:00.007+08:002008-06-07T14:55:02.089+08:00eto na po, mga kapatid. i'm not even bothering to use upper case letters here because i'm just killing time before the shuttle picks up me and my sister to jfk airport. here goes nothing...(in no particular order, depende sa whim ko)pero teka muna, a vain shot of me by my sister agnes at the art deco banyo at the 2nd level of radio city music hall. iba't iba kasi ang istilo ng banyo kada level.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-32573854557084792922008-06-04T14:02:00.002+08:002008-06-04T14:24:12.044+08:00The short cut to the True Colors concert leg at Radio City Music Hall a few hours agoOkay, to be clear, this was a concert tour spearheaded by Cyndi Lauper (ergo, the title) to create awareness about LGBT rights and issues, but moreso to get everyone to vote for candidates who are espousing these matters. So it wasn't a surprise na mas diverse pa sa halo halo ang laman ng Radio City kanina.A bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-8424728982374481412008-06-03T12:07:00.002+08:002008-06-03T12:29:56.719+08:00And by bad, we mean baad.(Right, Jane?)I just came from the Rilo Kiley concert. This is the first time I watched a concert of a musician I am not totally familiar with. But I am really curious about Rilo Kiley and so I asked my sister to get tickets for the show.While I was with Jane yesterday driving around her better part of Jersey, I asked her to play her Rilo Kiley in her iPod to review. (bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-70811434137008129662008-05-30T20:56:00.003+08:002008-05-30T21:03:17.247+08:00Heard on the news yesterday: Sharon Stone was criticized for saying something to the effect that the China earthquake may be bad karma arising from the repression of Tibet and the Dalai Lama. While nobody wants any ill will upon victims of natural calamities, I am pretty sure Stone's not the only one thinking this. In fact, I heard from one friend recently the very words 'China earthquake,' 'bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-66003407747820979472008-05-25T11:21:00.002+08:002008-05-25T11:54:40.478+08:00The shorthand to this weekWEDNESDAYPrinted and emailed my personal essay; hurried to our (Tanja and I) 12:30 lunch reservation at Mesa Grill (aka one of Bobby Flay's cash cows); sorting through the stores Anthropologie and Free People (aka sigh places for Amy, withering look from sister Aggie); getting lost looking for the event venue for a good 30 minutes; getting enough airtime with the programbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-37278989229185056902008-05-20T23:12:00.004+08:002008-06-07T14:17:36.644+08:00So I took sleep aid pills to correct my sleeping hours and combat jetlag and now here I am shlumming in my sister's place while Tanja went to Broadway to fix her ticket for tonight.For now, all I can say is that The Swell Season concert was amazing. Glen Hansard is too chatty, so chatty that for a while I thought he could have a career at being a stand-up comic. This is practically the way he bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-87161813372629268342008-04-21T21:32:00.003+08:002008-04-21T21:55:09.541+08:00The stanza from the previous post should drop a hintI am, am, in love, in love with Taken By Cars. The last time I hunted, stalked MTV and MYX (yes, even MYX) for a video is with Madonna's Ray of Light.I am such a stalker that hours ago, I played my first YouTube video. In the same breath, I played my first MySpace song. Correctly guessed: it's the band's hypnotic song Uh Oh.I played the video bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-26103428100179025562008-04-19T21:55:00.002+08:002008-04-19T22:10:44.126+08:00This is where it endsPast perfect future tenseAltered state of mindYour words no longer grind - "Uh Oh" by Taken by CarsHopscotch. The game that became the motif (and the title) of that novel by Julio Cortazar. In my case, it is the strategy I have learned to employ to balance, to temper the many compartments of me. (I recall the very friend who was the first - and last - to point this out. Didbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-54877960414656310762008-04-07T22:43:00.002+08:002008-04-07T22:53:00.595+08:00When I am barely starting to comprehend this moment, no sooner is it relegated to artifact. To run after its embers, to catch its fleeting tail is both exhilirating, bordering on desperation. I shudder at its aftermath, its hardened trace. I am filled with awe. I am completely moved. I am forever changed.(I remain the same.)bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-29341497313554355182008-03-11T16:19:00.001+08:002008-03-11T16:21:08.150+08:00What is the difference between quashing a bug and quashing a motion in a court hearing?bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-46373930002840835872008-03-05T15:51:00.001+08:002008-03-05T15:53:46.711+08:00Number 27We are instructed to do the negative; the positive is already within us.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-8526723833306335542008-03-02T20:59:00.002+08:002008-03-02T21:21:15.318+08:00My corner of the room1. When referring to a life-changing moment or a paradigm shift, it is erroneous to describe it as a 360-degree turn, for it only brings the subject to his or her original position. 180-degree turn would be the more appropriate phraseology.2. The magic of a serendipitous Thursday afternoon loses its veneer when it's told too often and to the wrong people.3. Chance encountersbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-2363890659679406132008-02-27T00:43:00.000+08:002008-02-27T00:44:30.996+08:00Transcendence/BecomingIt could be on account of my short attention span, a quality I can always blame on being reared by television. Perhaps, there is perpetual dissatisfaction. Other reasons could readily be invoked.I remain: it has always been about the in-between. The starting point could be as innocent as the tail-end of a sneeze. The end point? As trite as the end of a marriage – neither bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-59636808570157992422008-02-19T01:15:00.003+08:002008-02-19T01:25:05.059+08:00It was one of the most uninspired writing experiences in recent memory. Yes, it was borne out of anguish, but it was an anguish stemming from empty.I feel it as some friends do - this month and this weather is stretched taffy. It doesn't even try to plod on, like normal heavy boots do. It has to linger and stick and display its entire sweetness in front of you, yet you yourself, you're smotheredbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-81622862453850644432008-02-12T23:23:00.000+08:002008-02-12T23:41:31.892+08:00My, how the pendulum swingsWhile the previous week began with the fantastic news of my sister's acceptance for a fellowship at Sloan Kettering, this week is proceeding with the appearance of an e-mail from the graduate assistant from Berkeley. An e-mail. I needn't click on the link to know what its presence in my inbox meant.Ah well, good thing I've invested less emotionally on that school in bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-76091197284526186312008-02-03T23:44:00.000+08:002008-02-03T23:57:59.940+08:00I think in phrases and soundscapes these days1. The rule of Alice2. "Teardrop," Massive Attack3. "Hey Joe," Jimi Hendrix4. Flame my blushThe bluest blue eyes. Wears the rock tee-jacket-jeans-sneakers like the most hole-ridden free-size t-shirt. Flashes of tenderness are too fleeting, I feel like a little girl waiting for fireflies to flicker. Still, the unmistakable thread. The bathtub with the bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-16901503165916244142008-01-16T09:43:00.001+08:002008-01-16T10:07:41.869+08:00Grocery list1. Caloy was sweet enough to make a copy of the DVD "Once" for me. I'm guessing he's giving away copies to anyone he thinks is a movie fan, particularly of the music-driven, ala-Before-Sunrise-but-not-quite type of pieces. So far, I've seen it twice and even play the movie while reading "62: A Model Kit" by Julio Cortazar, a novel I'm not exactly in love with right now, if only bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-13210091481669797822008-01-06T19:40:00.000+08:002008-01-06T19:49:03.993+08:00Happy new year! And now, some words of inspiration...Albert Camus wrote, "One either serves the whole of man or one does not serve at all. And if man needs bread and justice, and if what has to be done must be done to serve this need, he also needs pure beauty which is the bread of his heart," and so Camus called for "courage in one's life and talent in one's work." Wole Soyinka. This great bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-12173024595099373922007-12-06T17:56:00.000+08:002007-12-06T18:01:57.820+08:00Meme naBananaducky is on hiatus.She'll be back when the posting is ripe.In the meantime, she's savoring the end of the year.Thanks to everyone who reads her posts and leaves messages and comments.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-47602355549155802902007-12-05T23:59:00.000+08:002007-12-06T00:04:55.958+08:00Still status quo. Still no response. (Or is this already it?) Still no intention to speak. Still many, many degrees removed for it has gone that way by force and by circumstance. Believe me, it's for the best. It's for our own good. You can trust me on that.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-57991226181411540392007-12-04T21:25:00.000+08:002007-12-04T21:54:26.698+08:00I remarked to my roommate Jamie that the weather we were experiencing at the Xavierville house reminds me so much of spring - the odd mixture of nippy temperature and the high sun which attempt to cancel each other out but to no avail. Of course the best part is you have every excuse to layer as many pieces of contradictory clothing as you can - provided that you're all for wearing contradictorybananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-52502853923691767852007-11-26T01:02:00.000+08:002007-11-26T01:07:45.329+08:00Days of too much comfort is a very dangerous thing. I have been a hibernating bear feasting on the plenty that has been this warm and well-stocked cave. Too much comfort. Very dangerous thing.The procedure of erasure before I sleep in order to bless the days ahead.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-12675647129428036822007-11-22T19:54:00.000+08:002007-11-22T20:00:20.557+08:00Because I have to choose something, I finally choose English. If I'm to write about the present, I have to write in the language of the present, even if it's not the language of the self. As a result, the diary becomes surely one of the more impersonal exercises of that sort produced by an adolescent girl. These are no sentimental effusions of rejected love, eruptions of familial anger, or bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-82180822383641312922007-11-11T18:15:00.000+08:002007-11-11T18:30:54.516+08:00This is the shortest weekend I'll have in LB in quite a while. Arrived this morning with what is already my foolproof travel day and time (Sunday, 6 am), swooped down coffee already waiting for me and a quick chat with Tatay before Nanay arrives from the market. As is the custom, he will ask me if I have any colored clothing up for the laundry cycle and as always, it'll be the jeans I'm wearingbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-40650902036279118602007-11-07T01:23:00.000+08:002007-11-07T01:38:19.559+08:00Dear Dreamworld,Alas, I am using the word 'alas.' No, I will not launch into a kaleidoscopic scrutiny of words I am using or about to use. But yes, words are falling off what remains of my waking life like years-old refrigerator magnets losing their, er, magnetism.Where have I been in cyberspace? A professor at the English Dept denied entry at a perceived-to-be-sosy restaurant. A professor deniedbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-79415990555805529392007-11-05T20:55:00.000+08:002007-11-05T21:03:20.877+08:00Dangerous daysToday, I was a professional passenger seat companion, a kaladkarin. Today, I have never been so at ease at staring into nothing. Today, I have never been to eager to embrace the solitude of a bus seat intended for two. I sat, witnessing before me a five-hour movie. Without complain, because it was just me and the fleeting green, changing every now and then to fleeting gray and bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-1399488067822027802007-11-04T01:46:00.000+08:002007-11-04T02:12:36.963+08:00My favorite time of the day is that hazy period between 12 midnight and 3 in the morning. Beyond it, I start to experience that uncomfortable feeling of head and stomach merging. Earlier than that, the remnants of restlessness brought about by the activities and ruminations of daytime are still ebbing.What is of interest for me are those intermittent periods in which I find myself smiling withoutbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-25505802985284348292007-11-03T22:15:00.000+08:002007-11-03T22:44:30.019+08:00Nothing's gonna change my worldLast night's episode of Joan of Arcadia ended with the song Across the Universe. I am not a Beatles fan but they wrote songs back in the day when songs had stories and my respect goes out to them. With Fiona Apple's cover of the song, it took on a different resonance, one that feels like that thin sheet of soothing ice coating something that must be protected and bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-76555265469931515522007-10-31T23:49:00.000+08:002007-11-01T00:12:51.088+08:00B & I are finally getting tired of being stressed about the madness we've gotten ourselves in. She hears of low batting averages among her predecessors and is ready for the worst. As for me, I'm just too happy that I'm writing for the joy of writing. (Well, the joy is lessened when it's for writing papers to complete classes but then there's adrenaline.) I'm happy over the fact that after all bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-46981415558225358742007-10-31T00:27:00.000+08:002007-10-31T00:57:41.132+08:00Not only is the body a machine that is in need of recalibration every now and then, it is an expressive machine and it makes itself known really well. It has a loud mouth; it is a mouth that is alleviated when its whims are met.By virtue of its expanse, the skin is the largest organ of the body. When it speaks, it rivals the actual mouth in words per minute, even surpassing it. To think that all bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-32663365040431240382007-10-28T19:14:00.000+08:002007-10-31T02:20:02.292+08:00Mula noon hanggang ngayon(Photos courtesy of Teny's Webshots album)bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-71661390159450731482007-10-27T12:32:00.000+08:002007-10-27T12:36:44.318+08:00Panalo talaga. Wala akong masabi.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-20080357016625600722007-10-24T23:40:00.000+08:002007-10-25T00:32:35.092+08:00Am so relieved that I finally finished the study proposal to go with the portfolio requested by my first recommender. A little bit of hiya on my part because it took me three weeks to do it (and to think she quickly replied to my request). Knowing how generous she has been then and now, I'd like to think I can go out on a limb in this case.It's one of those downtimes when you just know you could bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-32331430660268990552007-10-23T22:57:00.000+08:002007-10-23T23:23:45.772+08:00The body is a machine that needs to be upgraded or overhauled every now and then. With that in mind, I went to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned. Dr Toniet P quickly reported that my teeth are fine (which my mother will always claim to be her handiwork as she made us drink our milk and banned all softdrinks when I was growing up). Plaque build-up is minimal, to which I told her that I bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-86867716147420664862007-10-21T16:29:00.000+08:002007-10-21T17:14:02.853+08:00This is why I love artOne of the rituals Jim P. told us to keep long after the workshop is over is the Artist's Date (a practice he derives from writer Julia Cameron). You're supposed to set aside two hours of the week to do something for yourself, like an afternoon at the spa, watch a movie, etc. The idea is to restock your wellspring of artistic inspiration since like all wells, they can dry bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-3669243142079326462007-10-18T20:54:00.000+08:002007-10-18T20:56:17.903+08:00Two down, one more to go.bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-91057370441873691332007-10-15T20:32:00.000+08:002007-10-15T21:04:36.222+08:00Downtime......because I have nothing new to blog about. Well, yes, there's always something new but my brains are making a balancing act of 'Andrea Dworkin' and 'Linda Williams' and 'John Berger' and 'Angela Carter.' ...because it's all about the relax, don't do it, when you want to get through it. In a way, I'm definitely not doing something - being anxious, that is. Writing and conceiving ideasbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-21357549917943278552007-10-08T07:36:00.000+08:002007-10-08T08:09:48.534+08:00SoberThings may not be the same but I am not shutting you out. You are much too alive, much too there to excise with an antiseptic scalpel.I thought an extreme, all-or-nothing, black and white response will put things to rest. Unfortunately, it only made me think all the more. It may have quieted things for the time being but nevertheless it bothered me. Something was still amiss. I receivedbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-73589560180749266762007-10-01T22:26:00.000+08:002007-10-01T22:56:36.053+08:00The Beginning of HistorySometimes, when it all gets too thick to breathe, to think straight (as if the way of the straight will ever set house), i frantically reach for the brake pedals. Now, these brake pedals, jesus, they hide from me, as if taunting me to come play with us, let's try hide and seek this time. I can't play hide and seek, not at this time! Mind your timing, will you?Search and bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-2311703474626166022007-09-30T22:06:00.000+08:002007-09-30T22:26:53.584+08:00wishlistit lies in the utterance and yet words are not enough. they have to be apprehended, grasped, stringed into meaningful threads. then they have to see the light, undergo the cliche of ink on paper.this is the prescribed route. but i ask, doesn't paper turn to yellow? imagine the university library up in flames. then in a beautiful symphony, all presses, great and small, are unwitting bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-72074096690426002732007-09-23T22:46:00.000+08:002007-09-23T22:54:05.436+08:00quietuncertaindead certainlet it all hangplacidhappybananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-30022621752526388822007-09-15T21:22:00.000+08:002007-09-15T21:42:25.325+08:00i actually googled 'mandy moore' a while ago.she was the subject of a conversation with t. as we were scouring through the shelves at the well-stocked fully booked at bonifacio high street. her song 'extraordinary' was the select pipe-in music. i went into gush mode as i told her i actually liked the song and the video. she instantly extracted an already-forgotten exchange of words back during bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-16831730286116426292007-09-10T22:05:00.000+08:002007-09-10T22:14:22.762+08:00my fingers are flying faster than my thoughts or my thoughts are a raging flood my fingers simply gave up......either way, they feel the same.lest i forget why i opened a new post. if anyone knows if there is an existing cd (or in my vocabulary will forever be 'album') of the following out there for me to purchase, let me know:1. whatever and ever amen, ben folds five2. automatic for the people, bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-51908053321773034872007-09-09T20:45:00.000+08:002007-09-09T21:16:06.916+08:00before i get sucked in by that big and fat reviewer that will save my arse in exactly one weekthe week that was - certainly one of the dryest, hottest weeks in katipunan history, so much so that i decided to spend an extra few days in lb because my throat has been acting up since yesterday and if i'm dead sure of what it may mean, it may jeopardize next saturday's exam.the only thing that bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-58934146541997526292007-09-01T21:18:00.000+08:002007-09-01T21:29:52.171+08:00ticker tape newsoliver sacks is the first columbia university artist, not to mention a faculty at the same university's college of medicine.so, there is something to my wild idea.in other news: dang that, two uncomfortable yet wonderful detours in the span of three days. in the first, i found my qc coven; in the second, i was given both a serving of the most wonderful chocolate i've ever tasted bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-78618247868391602592007-08-30T14:00:00.000+08:002007-08-30T14:09:59.966+08:00the weather reportyou had to be made in a hurry. my roommate needs to use the phone. but since i'm on the subject, the sun tempted me to wash my yellow-knit blouse and red hoodie. they're sure to be drying right on schedule, as if matters of drying clothes mind such things as schedules.i had to turn on the fan in the living room. your air is starting to be prickly. then again, i haven't showered bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-1323870867639810522007-08-27T23:15:00.000+08:002007-08-27T23:19:08.427+08:00hard of hearingwhen the bride thinks of what her life could be after walking down that petal-strewn aisle and to the outstretched hand of the groom, she could only think of one thing.to be continuedbananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-6349033196272190292007-08-26T11:21:00.000+08:002007-08-26T11:40:01.178+08:00hit list1. ladyfingers by luscious jackson: "i've got ladyfingers baby/i've got kid gloves/ baby I've got heart"2. ray of light by madonna: "zephyr in the sky at night i wonder/do my tears of mourning sink beneath the sun"3. a new tatoo by urbandub: "i bleed for you/like a new tattoo/in my heart you'll stay/permanent"3. sayang by rivermaya: "huwag ka ng umiyak/sayang lang ang luha"5. black hole bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-24236817025493255842007-08-22T20:47:00.000+08:002007-08-22T21:00:16.552+08:00it's a good thing there's chuzzle to satisfy the urge to crush furry balls with a thwooping sound.by now i should be thick-skinned about other people's contrary opinions and malicious intents. like i told b., i will feel the tremors four hours after the story. now i'm feeling it.except that i do know better. of course knowing better and going ballistic do not share the same train. the only bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510640.post-66450605596019999852007-08-20T21:17:00.000+08:002007-08-20T21:37:38.082+08:00i am very confused.i need advice. very sound advice.today's pingpong conversation stopped me in my tracks.maybe i'm complicating what could be simple things?how can i not think about these things when i do care about them deeply?who do i ask?who will take the time to listen?who will even respond?so the stars are right. things are slowing down. slowness to digest everything.slowness to just bananaduckynoreply@blogger.com0